Pain For Gain

He's breaking the Church, unless we become broken we won't let His glory shine. We are being broken for the sake of the lost and for the sake of our blessing and inheritance. When we are in pain and turn to our Father, asking, seeking and knocking, He has promised to answer us. We get the answers in our pain, for the world's pain. If we don't allow ourselves to feel pain and brokenness we will never dig deeply enough to get real with God. This is what the world needs, not preaching more religion. Not empty words, not hypocrisy or theory, but OUR EXPERIENCES WITH GOD. REAL EXPERIENCES OF HIS LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS in times of pain, need and our own deficiency. When we can truly say, "I WAS LOST, but now am found."

The Well: Living Water

A desert is a place devoid of streams, rivers or lakes; there can be no life there apart from the underground streams that become accessible through an Oasis or a well. If there is no place where the underground streams can surface, then the water has to be accessed through digging and actively drawing it up as needed. Labourious, but sufficient nonetheless. Once drawn up it nourishes those who are present at that moment to drink it, or infrastructure must be built to keep drawing the water out and distributing it for specific purposes.

Once you have this water source, you are saved, there may be desert all around you, but you will be a garden sufficient for the nourishment of those whom God puts in your path. I think that is a key element in the equation of sufficiency. If we are careless with what God has given us – not taking sufficient time to draw from the well of His presence, we will begin to wilt. We can give of ourselves generously however, in the place of His calling, doing what we see Him doing when we sit with Him in the secret place, and not run dry. As we are faithful to draw on Him as we pour out that Living Water through our own hearts to others, our “gallons per minute” increase to meet the demand.

It is all about spending time at the Well, without that, we won't last, we won't have fresh water for ourselves or others, and we may turn to whatever substitutes are available. Unfortunately these may sustain a form of life for a period of time, but it can't produce good fruit, there can't be healthy growth, if any at all. This form of life may be diverting for a time, but eventually it will produce it's own type of fruit, as Jesus said, “By their fruit you will know them”, (what their source is).

Sources of water have been fought over since ancient times, scripture tells us that Earth used to be watered from a mist that rose and fell, as well as from underground streams, however that changed with a significant climate shift that caused heavy rains and some famous flooding. No longer was all of Earth watered equally with a mist and accessible underground streams, the garden of Eden a not so distant memory, but the drastic shift in the climate that brought deserts to the earth was a result of the increased, widespread and prolific perversion of mankind. This is a picture of the spiritual condition, as the “visible speaks of the invisible”. What we do affects nature and not just by physically polluting it. Scripture tells us that nature “groans for the Sons of God (a unisex term like Man, as in mankind) to be revealed”, like a mother bringing forth children, the earth is instrumental in bringing forth the mature Sons of God. Sons who are in relationship with the Father.

So with that in mind, should we be surprised when we find ourselves in a dry place, forced to dig for water, battling forces that are hellbent on preventing the Children of God from “subduing the earth” - turning it back into the garden of Divine intimacy, beauty, nourishment and health? In places where Oasis exhist there are also fierce battles, and many, many, attractive substitutes, to keep people from drawing on the source of Living Water. It is as though we have an enemy. The destroyer of life will do anything to prevent the children of God from succeeding in their divine commission.

We have been given the means to transform the world around us, it has been slow going. Why? We are in a spiritual war and one of satan's greatest tactics is to turn what ought to be authentic relationship with God – into mere religiosity, form without power, stagnant rules of man that put people in bondage rather than set them free, decimating our hearts. There have been genuine revivals, outpourings of God's Spirit, healings, miracles, signs and wonders, but we build theology around it, enshrine it and begin to worship the infrastructure instead of the Source. The Source would not share us with anything less than Himself and so He withdraws, hoping we'll notice what we did, hoping we'll notice the impotence of our foolishness. If we notice, we pursue, we grow and we increase. If we don't notice, and continue with our new status quo of maintaining and worshiping an outdated infrastructure, we become stagnant and spiritually sterile.

One of the reasons we don't pursue Him when He withdraws His manifest presence, is that He often withdraws into the wilderness, into the desert. We may initially realize His manifest presence has left, but when we catch sight of that desert we get scared and we convince ourselves that He wouldn't have gone there, so we camp out where we experienced Him last, hoping He'll return to where we are, but that probably won't happen, as His Word tells us...”Behold, I am doing a new thing, do you not percieve it?”

Why the wilderness? Why a desert? In my own experiences I have learned that this is where He reveals His heart to us, when we choose to follow, trusting, by faith, to put all our eggs in His basket, we enter a realm of intimacy and maturity in God that He only opens to us as we prove our love this way. Eventually the wilderness and the desert will test all our resolve, even while He cares and provides for our needs (which He determines). We will run into questions about what He is doing and what He was thinking – either that, or we will tell our heart to be quiet and keep a stiff upper lip... but then we have lost the whole point.

The pursuit of God into the desert opens the door to a deeper knowing of His heart only after we open the doors of our heart to Him. As we pour out our hearts to Him in all honesty, emptying of ourselves (the good, the bad and the ugly), He comes and fills us, He not only provides for us physically, but emotionally. He satisfies our heart, and in doing so, reveals His heart for us. We get to know Him more deeply, in a way that would not have been possible in the excitement and rush of our mountain top experiences with Him. Wilderness, or desert times, when navigated well (in pursuit of God), will precede a spiritual promotion. It prepares our hearts to recieve and succeed in seasons of abundance, minimizing our ability to become corrupted. We will be able to discern God's voice among the throngs of others that will clamour for our attention in the lands flowing with milk and honey.

His Presence Like Water

What do you feel when you are waiting for someone, someone dear, and you catch sight of them coming toward you? You get a burst of emotion, a flood that washes away any other emotion that was, until that moment, holding your attention. That burst of emotion heralds a change, a new season, a transformation of your countenance and outlook. This is what it's like when God manifests His presence to me.

There are the in between times, the normal day to day of my relationship with Him, where His presence resides in my heart – the holy of holies; that place God portrayed through the ancient Israelites, when they built the tabernacle (dwelling place) for the Most High, according to the Heavenly blueprint He gave them. That was a shadow of His dwelling in heaven and a prophetic picture of God dwelling not just with, but within His children. How can Holy dwell with unholy, the dust of the earth? On the other side of mercy, grace and sacrifice. Love. Pure innocence came down and got dirty, to make us new, to make us innocent, to make us holy. His desire is to tabernacle within us, to never break the bond of intimate knowledge of His heart for us.

I love His presence. I have learned in the past few months, that although I may have much, it all turns to ashes without His presence in my life. I have learned that they who may have little in the world's eyes, have everything when they have His presence. God never fosakes His children, His Word tells us that, however, at times He does withdraw His manifest presence (the feeling of His presence) for a season and for a purpose. This is what happened to me. It was dry. It was a desert. Because I knew what it was like to live with His manifest presence, the absence of it was eye opening. Life without His manifest presence was drying me out, like a tree cut off from it's water source, slowly withering, until it became too much and I began to cry out to Him in sadness of heart, for I missed Him dearly and I told Him so.

The day I wept for His presence I moved like a living dead about my world. I managed to get to a friend's art show opening that evening and something strange and wonderful began to manifest. As I stepped into the art gallery I began to feel water rising around me, the supernatural water tap of God's manifest presence began to flow. The water rose around me and I couldn't speak, the waters of His manifest presence moved me around the room and into the next, where my eyes and heart fixed on a triptych titled, 'ONE'. As I inhaled, He filled me, and in a matter of seconds I knew Him like I had never known Him before. He took over my mind and flooded it with revelation that soaked into the dry ground of my heart. I saw Him. The tap of the water of His manifest presence was now fully on.

I found the artist and asked her about 'ONE', I asked her what she saw when she created it and what her interpretation was. She saw nothing and had no interpretation, the title was random – this is how she works – leaving it very personal to the viewer to make their own interpretation. She did tell me, however, that she prays before she paints, and that she anoints her hands with oil and blesses the work before she begins and while she paints she prays. It became very clear to me then, that God Himself painted this work, through submitted hands, for me. While I wandered my desert, He painted for me and planned this day, knowing the end from the beginning all along. What revelation, and what deep knowledge of Him and His mysterious ways, did this journey give me. He is faithful and He is love and He knows the end from the beginning. I can always trust Him.

Life is not easy. God did not say so either. He did say we'd have trials, and He said He would never leave or forsake us. This was true even when I could not feel Him. He knows the end from the beginning, and if we should ever question His lovingkindess let us remember His innocence and His sacrifice.

Lamentations 3:33

“For He does not willingly bring

affliction

or grief to the children of men.”

'Shift' Prophecy

I felt I should share this prophetic word I received back in November 2010. I have found myself in a different season of spiritual struggle for about 3 months now, and during prayer this morning I felt to dig this out and read it again. I am learning that the stages in a prophetic word seem to progress more slowly than we expect. Having re-read the word now, I can see that, at least for myself (but likely the corporate church at large also), the struggle is the emergence from the cocoon stage - still near the beginning of the season of this word. Yet I have found myself tremendously hungry and desperate for the presence of God, for the wind of His Spirit. I am not just waiting, that is no longer good enough, no, I am crying out, "COME"! For the lack of it (His manifest presence) is nearing unbearable in the place I find myself in.

SHIFT: November 14^th, 2010

There has been a shift. I know others felt it. At prayer Nov. 6^th there was a cry and a response and the cocoon cracked open. Nov. 7^Th I believe marked the completion of the transforming cocoon season for the Body of Christ. Today, Nov 14^th there was felt a tangible shift and I “saw” the head of the butterfly emerged from the cocoon and into the light, marking a new season and ability to face outward. I began to ask the Lord about this new season for the church.

As I was asking, I felt Him downloading into my spirit.

This new season is exciting, because it is a new season, but it is also a vulnerable season. The exit from the cocoon is an important struggle that builds muscle, and once emerged, the butterfly is vulnerable until it can take to flight. The insect is wet, it's new wings need to dry and unfold. This requires a warm wind... It will be a sweet time of the Holy Spirit breathing on His church. Also a vulnerable season, BUT we can remain hidden in Christ. We are hidden in Him when we humbly walk this out, confessing any sins, and are washed clean. Un-repented sin will cause the enemy to see and hit us, because we give him the right and authority. A season marked by the beauty and power of repentance. God gives grace to the humble. Opposition to what the Lord is leading us to do, however, will be overcome by spiritual warfare excercised with revelation, discernment, wisdom, and humility. The oppressed will go free. The ministry of the prophetic, a calling to holiness, the gifts of discernment – will be useful tools in navigating this next season, which will still be primarily focused on renewing the Bride. The season after that will be apostolic, the Church spreading her wings, being sent out, like giant fish nets or combines.

Humility will be a hallmark.

Hallmark (noun) 1. An official mark stamped on gold or silver articles to guarantee their purity. 2. Any proof of excellence.

Losing Religion

I used to have a favourite quote, “If what you think does not reflect truth, then what you feel will not reflect reality.” I am happy to say that I have since lost my religion; thank God for that. I now know that what the heart feels is just as real as what your mind knows. I learned this as my programmed brain would speak the truth to my heart, but my heart did not care and continued feeling what it was feeling until God, Himself, came to touch it.

I am a well read Christian. I know my Bible. My mind devours, ponders and examines matters. My mind is a wonderful tool, but it cannot tell my heart what to feel. My mind is useful in preventing me from straying from the right path, my will is strong enough to enable me to soldier-on in the right direction, or to stand when I have done my all. In a way, my mind and will are there to carry my heart through the difficult seasons, but not to invalidate what it feels or to tell it what to feel, because what the heart feels is real to the heart. The mind and will must respect the heart and allow it to feel, to work things through with God in raw honesty, otherwise you will be like a house divided, which we know cannot stand forever.

This then reveals the main difference between mere religion and a healthy relationship with God (true Christianity). The difference is that for healthy relationship the heart must be on board, and for the heart to be on board, there must be an encounter with the Living God, in real time. The heart needs rescuing and wooing. God knows how to do both and with such grace it takes your breath away. When your heart really encounters God, it is never the same again. Your heart finds out it is loved, which enables it to truly love in return.

A heart that knows it is loved unconditionally allows the mind and will to carry it along the right path when it feels pain. When the heart knows it is loved unconditionally it can lead you to accomplish far beyond what a knowledgeable mind, on it's own, ever could. The heart is where life happens and that is what God is after; He is a Father, Friend, Husband. Just as we desire real and true relationship, so does He, after all, we are made in His image – not the other way around.

When I thought the truth in my mind should tell my heart what it should feel, it was accepted and respected in the “Christian club”, but I have found that the less I live in that duplicity, the more the world and the religious outcast come to smell the sweet fragrance of Jesus. Imagine that. The more I pay attention to my heart, the more I can see, hear, and feel His. I think this is an essential transformation. If we are ever going to walk as the Son of God did, we need to lose our religion.

He Wounds Us To Heal Us

The Holy Spirit's gift of words from the book of Lamentations

Scripture taken from The New International Version

(bold italics and the capitalization of “He” and “You” etc, when referring to the Lord, is mine)

Lamentations 1

1:2b Among all her lovers there is no one to comfort her. 
All her friends have betrayed her; they have become her enemies.

1:10 The enemy laid hands on all her treasures; 
she saw pagan nations 
enter her sanctuary— 
those You had forbidden to enter Your assembly.

Lamentations 2

2:2b ...in His wrath He has torn down the strongholds of Daughter Judah. 
He has brought her kingdom and its princes down to the ground in dishonor.

2:3 In fierce anger He has cut off every horn (strength) of Israel. 
He has withdrawn His right hand (of blessing) at the approach of the enemy.

2:5b He has.../...destroyed her strongholds.

2:7a The Lord has.../...abandoned His sanctuary.

2:8a The LORD determined to tear down the wall around Daughter Zion. 


2:13b Your wound is as deep as the sea. Who can heal you?

2:14 The visions of your prophets were false and worthless; 
they did not expose your sin to ward off your captivity. 
The prophecies they gave you were false and misleading.

2:18a The hearts of the people cry out to the Lord.

2:19 Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; 
pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. 
Lift up your hands to Him for the lives of your children...

Lamentations 3

3:22-24 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. 
23 They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; 
therefore I will wait for Him.”

3:31-33 For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. 
32 Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. 
33 For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.

3:39-40 Why should the living complain when punished for their sins? 40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD.

3:57 You came near when I called You, and You said, “Do not fear”.

Lamentations 4

4:6a The punishment of my people is greater than that of Sodom...

4:13 But it happened because of the sins of her prophets and the iniquities of her priests...

Lamentations 5

5:15a Joy is gone from our hearts...

5:21a Restore us to Yourself, LORD, that we may return.

A Hurting, Thankful Bride II

As she is overwhelmed by the pain of her wounds and the pain of her broken heart, she pours out her tears. Her wails ask Him where His lovingkindness is, where He has gone. Does He not see? Where are You? What have I done? The tears pour hot to the ground, to the dry, barren ground. As the streams flow from her heart toward her God, the thirsty, cracked desert drinks deeply.

Seeds long forgotten, buried deep, are awakened by the flow. As she lays on the ground, at His mercy, the only hope she has left, she feels a softness under her fingers. She opens her eyes, dimly, and sees a transformation beginning all around her barren place. Shoots of fresh, green growth have enveloped her and begin to rise upward, reaching to the sky. As her body is cooled and nourished by the vegetation, she gains her strength. All around her a beautiful garden has sprung up. She hears footsteps coming toward her. In the cool of the evening, He has come, as in days of old, where intimate friendship was worked out in the very first garden. Suddenly she realizes, that her lament was not only hers, but His.

A Hurting, Thankful Bride

She's hurting, but she dare not get upset or complain, for He is perfect and she doesn't want to seem ungrateful, or... un-spiritual. So she thanks Him for the crumbs, thanks Him for the rags that at least cover her nakedness as she wanders the desert. She licks the dew off the blades of grass, she crushes a cactus with a rock and sucks the juice. She is thankful for the liquid that keeps her body alive. She remembers a story of water from a rock and manna from the sky, but it's not to be found here. There is a purpose, she says, I just can't see it. He loves me, His word says so, He has shown me His kindness before. Other seasons have been good, this is just a difficult season, press on, press on.

A sandstorm sweeps the desert, she survives, in a mysterious cave she stumbled upon at the last minute. Thank you God, she says, you have spared my life again. Her eyes sting from the dust, she wipes them with her rags. The storm over, she emerges from the cave and adjusts her burning eyes to view the landscape. All the cacti lay on the ground, destroyed. She waits for the dew, she licks the grass. The sun rises, the dew dries up and the heat saps her strength. She goes back to the cave to hide from the heat and collapses in a heap. Thank you for the cave and the dew, she whispers hoarsley, her lips crack and bleed. She takes a breath and something breaks, her exhale is a wail, loud and clear. She cannot control it any longer. She cannot silence her broken heart and she wails. Deeply. Tears flow, hot and abundant. She wails her heart's contents, spilling it all over the ground, all over His feet. Loudly. The lament pushes tears into dry ground. Her tears begin to reach seeds that have waited, waited, waited...

When God Calls

1 Samuel 3

When God calls, it is an honour. Be prepared, however, for that honour to cost you something. The honour is in that God has chosen you.

The truth is, however, before you can walk in what He has desired for you, there are tests of your love, your true love of God. Nothing will test you more than when God asks you to bring a difficult message to someone who can directly impact your life. This test is a test of the fear of man vs. The fear of the Lord. There is no guaranteed result, you may be received, but your message may not. You may be rejected along with the message, or both may be received, but nothing happens, because the person won't do what is necessary to change. Often the issue is one of the heart and involves repentance. Where there is a self-serving spirit there is pride, where there is pride there is blindness, where there are idols there is deafness. What can cut through that? Failure. But God is compassionate and His word tells us that He doesn't do anything without first telling His people. Eli was forewarned by an unnamed man of God, then God called Samuel and Samuel delivered the same message of warning to Eli.

If God desires doom, why does He warn, why not just smite? He desires all to come to repentance and be saved. Why are we so hard headed? Why so hard hearted? Why is it so hard to see that we need to humble ourselves before God and repent of our sins? Is it fear? Fear of change? Fear of failure? But He has promised us power – not for our own comfort, but to be transformed. We cannot transform ourselves, but surely we can say,”Father forgive me for I have sinned! Change my heart oh God!” Why is this so hard? Because we do not truly know God. We don't know His true character, we are not spiritually minded, but carnal, and we often hear Satan before we hear God. Satan is loud and appeals to our carnal desires, shouting deceit to our souls, we are deafened to God by all the other things we focus our attention on.

When was the last time we lay down in the presence of God, like Samuel? When we seek Him, we will find Him. We seek what we focus our attention on. When we seek God, our ears will hear and our eyes will see. Eli could barely see, his eyes were weak. So was his spiritual condition before God. In those days the word of the Lord was rare, there were not many visions, until Samuel, who's name means, “God heard” or “answer to prayer”. God found Samuel lying down in the tabernacle (dwelling place of God) where the ark of God was (God's presence). Then the Lord called Samuel.

How often have we prayed to the Lord for something and the heavens seem as brass, no changes in whatever situation we are praying into and then to add insult to injury here comes some so and so (young buckaroo, inexperienced, no schooling, no formal position...you name it) and tells you you're doing something wrong and you may need to do it this way, or have you thought of this or that, and perhaps you need help? How do you respond? Do you give a religious pat answer of false humility (“Well, God's will be done”), do you give them the silent treatment and hope they go away? Do you ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal any wickedness and remove your strongholds? Perhaps you've been blinded by something that has grown over the years, have you been accountable to someone lately?

I have heard that God will offend the mind to change the heart, but that only works if you recognize that your flesh just got offended – if the flesh is dead, it doesn't get offended. If you feel offended, ask God to show you, expose the area where the flesh is ruling. Our flesh, carnal nature, does not want to be de-throned and it will react at the hint of a threat. This is how God often exposes these things. If your reaction to something is less than the fruit of the Holy Spirit, chances are you have some flesh ruling you. Go to God, find it out, be prepared for a fight, and surrender to God's will. If you truly want to be free and not the puppet of a stronghold, which is susceptable to Satan's control, be prepared to let things go by handing them over to God. Take your hands off. If it is His will for you to have it, then He will give it back to you, but let it be His call. If you are truly surrendered to Him it will be His call, when you are ready, and then the testing and forging will come, to produce in you a weapon fit for it's work, an able instrument in God's hand.

Disclaimer:

Not all messages you feel for someone - or are brought to you by someone, are from the Lord. Sometimes they are from our flesh/soul or from the emotions of others (we may be picking up other people's stuff). God can confirm this for you. Everything must be judged and discerned. If you are bringing a message – what is the motive? Is it love for the person? Have you spent much time in prayer over it? Are you compelled by emotion? Let someone (a mature and trustworthy confidant) judge the word before you deliver it. If the word is to someone in leadership, be sure you are submissive and honouring in how you bring it. If it is from the Lord, once you deliver it, leave it in God's hands.

Hannah; Lover Of God

1 Samuel 1

Elkanah said, “Do I not mean more to you than ten sons?” Yes, he did. Elkanah was Hannah's portion. They had a special relationship. Elkanah loved Hannah, he gave her double portions, he was troubled by Hannah's sadness. Children were a desire of her heart, but I believe that in itself was not the source of her sadness. Her desire caused yearning, but her sadness grew from the tormenting attacks of Elkanah's other bride, Peninah. The torment drove Hannah to tears and to prayer, interceding for the birth of her desire.

Was Hannah idolotrous? No. She promised to give her firstborn to the Lord.

Her prayer was not idolotrous, it was consecrated prayer, sanctified, given over to God. Therefore, I believe, her desire and resulting intercession were from the Lord. God caused good fruit to come from Hannah's circumstances (... God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose...”). She birthed a man in prayer and then in the natural - for God's purpose. She prayed for a son and vowed to give him to the Lord, as a Nazarite, set apart, consecrated, a worshipper of God for all his days. Hannah was a worshipper of God, so much so that she did not take ownership of her desire, the child she birthed. Integrity. Fear of the Lord.

After Hannah prayed and Eli the priest understood and declared agreement, her burden lifted. God remembered her during intimacy with her husband and she concieved and gave birth to the son she asked the Lord for. She birthed the answer to her prayer. God placed the seed for Samuel in her, but it required consecrated prayer to come to fruition. Samuel was God's idea. He gave Hannah the burden, but until she was willing to release Samuel back to the Lord He would not allow conception. Why did God not choose one of Peninah's children? They were also Elkanah's seed were they not? It was Hannah's seed God wanted. He closed her womb. Why? Because Samuel had to come through prayer and was to be set apart to the Lord. Hannah had to come to that place first. The only thing we know about Peninah is that she provoked a barren woman to tears. Perhaps Peninah was jealous of the double portions their husband was giving to Hannah. Perhaps Peninah thought she was better than Hannah because she was able to bear children, after all, the Lord had not closed her womb. Perhaps Peninah thought that Hannah must have sinned, or done something to deserve her barrenness, and then told Hannah so. Perhaps Peninah thought she did everything right and that was why she had all those children. Perhaps she was jealous, that even after she bore Elkanah children while Hannah had none, Hannah recieved the double portion from Elkanah, their husband... because, as it is written, he loved her and the Lord had closed her womb. Hannah, naturally speaking, produced nothing, yet Elkanah loved her and gave her a double portion. Peninah's heart was being exposed. Outwardly she had the upper hand on Hannah. Outwardly everything seemed stacked in Peninah's favour. Outwardly Peninah was to be envied. But Hannah was receiving the double portion. Why? Because of the nature of her relationship with Elkanah (think of relationship with God). He did mean more to her than ten sons. She loved Elkanah and he knew it. Hannah's journey was necessary to produce the type of fruit God wanted. God wanted Samuel. God's people needed Samuel.

I believe Hannah was not grieved because she did not have a child, she was grieved because of Peninah. This is proved by her willingness to give the child to the Lord for his entire life. So what did birthing Samuel, a child she vowed to give away, do for Hannah? It silenced her accuser. She could move on. Peninah would have much food for thought, much opportunity for introspection and perhaps even conviction. Perhaps Peninah would see the Lord's hand, repent of her judgemental accusations and bless Hannah, then perhaps peace and unity would return to their house We don't know what Peninah did with the outcome, the scriptures don't elaborate any further. What we do know, is that Hannah experienced and declared God's goodness (aka glory!) and when the purity of her heart was proved, God rewarded her with blessed fruitfulness.